fuck what fireworks stand for.

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Meanwhile, I am stuck on the dream that life will improve, that my actions will have purpose and that the relationships I make are mutually beneficial. I am waiting for my turn to be successful, my chance to be happy. I have given up the false perception that I have never been the popular kid because of the misjudgment of others and instead adopted the reality that my actions speak louder than words. I don’t want anyones sympathy, I only want to feel what everyone else feels. I need to know if it is the world who misunderstands me, or if I misunderstand the world. I want to feel satisfied with choices I’ve made. I want health. I want the comfort I felt when I was a kid. I want to know that my life has a meaning. I want to know that I was important to someone and not just a way to spend time, or fill a void left by someone else. I want to believe when people tell me it’s not my fault. Is it wrong to think that nothing will turn out right? Maybe I am just taking this whole “growing up” thing a little hard. Lately, I have started to become more and more comfortable with being unaccompanied. I think the reason for this is my dependence on a lack of a variation in opinion. I have always been a stubborn bastard, quick to jump on the mistakes of others without examining the faults of my own. Thats life.

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