Today I realized something pretty nice about myself. I noticed that I was smiling to people on the street, in stairwells, in line, etc. etc..
That may not seem like that big of a deal, but thats a pretty monumental thing for me especially compared to the last few years of my life. These days, I honestly want to see people do well. I was watching the steelers game the other day with some friends and when a guy got tackled really hard, instead of laughing, I said “oh fuck!” and not in a condescending way. I think this might have to do with some general satisfaction with the direction my life has been going lately. Of course, like everyone else, I have my moments/days where I am a huge disappointment. All in all, though, i think I have grown by leaps in the last several years. My eyes have finally been open to what life means. Life to me means letting nature do what it does. But while i’m here, why not try to experience as much of it as possible and try to be happy while doing it. Being happy doesn’t mean working all day to buy some stupid TV that wont mean anything next month when the new version comes out and mine is obsolete. Friends, hobbies and experience. What makes you more happy? 1) A day at work 2) a day on your bicycle exploring a new city.
That question may seem sort of an extreme simplification of what it means to be alive, but think about it. It really isn’t. Basically what i’m saying is “live more, work less”.
I’ve lived a pretty fortunate life, really. I’ve had the privilege of travel and been able to experience plenty of different cultures. I found a passion for understanding life through some fairly alternative learning which has lead me in some pretty awesome directions. Sure, I’ve failed miserably at plenty of things, and those things are what shaped me into what I am. I know I am a negative nancy sometimes, but really how can you not be. I’m not a taoist monk. I wouldn’t trade my darkest days for anything. They will always be a shadow and who is a person without a shadow.
1 Comment
January 30, 2009 at 11:22 pm
i like this man. i’ve definitely found myself to be way more caring and interested in the general population over the past couple months/year as well. I think it really just goes back the whole school yard bully thing of being insecure…things that we are growing out of. We are both very lucky for a lot of reasons, but I think we are both doing at least decent jobs of “paying it forward” or “giving back” or whatever. I think this stage of growing up is sometimes less exciting, but almost always more interesting than the teenage years